more of me

i am never in the pictures.  i think it is a common mama problem, always being the one taking, never being (or even desiring to be) the one taken of.  i am probably in only a handful of pictures in the last five years since gabe was born.  not always on purpose, but there are definitely times when i would rather not be in front of a camera.  pregnancy and motherhood have changed me, in good ways, but also in ways that i would not always prefer to capture on film.  but one day, my boys, they will be older.  and they will look back and they will have no record of what a full life i live as their mother.  so, this year, i am going to try to spend more time in front of the camera.  and i will also try not to delete all of the pictures steve takes of me when i edit them.  because in 15 years, i will want to look back and remember just how sweet those moments were that we lived, together.  and i want proof that i was there.  for them, and for me.